


The Beginning is the End

by ohmytheon



Series: Rebelcaptain AUs [20]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, F/M, Pre-Canon, Soulmate Tattoo Marks, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 13:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11830029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmytheon/pseuds/ohmytheon
Summary: It's a cruel twist of fate the Force plays on people, marking them with the last words of their soulmate. Neither Jyn nor Cassian are happy to receive theirs.





	The Beginning is the End

**Author's Note:**

> I chose Rebelcaptain because we know their last words and I’m a sucker for pain. I might do a second part to this where they find out the truth. I was going to write more, but the little monster started to wake up. lmao

Jyn is sixteen and hiding in a bunker, abandoned by a man who had become something of a father to her, when fire burns around her right calf. The sensation nearly causes her to drop her blaster, so she has to crouch down and wrap a hand around it as fire laces through her skin. It stops as abruptly as it started, leaving a cold, tingling sensation in its place, but she doesn’t move or pull her hand away.

No, no, no. She doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want anything to do with this. Rage builds up inside of her, along with grief, and she hates how both emotions are able to dig their claws into her heart even now. She grips her leg so tight that her nails dig into her even through her pants.

There’s something to be said about the beginning of something also being the end. It’s hard knowing that somewhere out there is her soulmate and they will die. She feels marked by death, the surety of its coming written on her skin. Trust the Force, her mother said before she died, but the Force is cruel. It plays a terrible game on everyone.

Marking people with their soulmate’s last words – allowing people to truly and fully fall in love with someone, only to take them away.

She told herself that she would never fall in love – she won’t do it, she won’t – and the lack of a soulmate mark both comforted her and made her feel alone in the galaxy. It didn’t matter. She had been alone for a long time. And now it’s here, mocking her, reminding her that she isn’t alone. But she will be. Oh, she will be once they die or she dies. Everything ends. Everyone leaves.

Finally, she pulls her hand away and sits down on the ground. Sighing in defeat, she rolls up her pants leg and looks at the soulmate marking.

_Your father would be proud of you._

Jyn throws her head back against the wall of the bunker and laughs coldly, so loud that the sound echoes around her. Proud of her? He’s  _gone_. Galen Erso is gone and most likely dead – has been for years. And Saw Gerrera? He left to her too. Found her in a bunker and abandoned her in one. The laugh turns into tears until she’s doing both and curls in on herself.

Soulmate marks are supposed to make a person feel loved, even if it’s their last words, like they’re going to be with you until the very end. But all Jyn feels is the emptiness of them and how little she believes in anything these days. Proud of her. They don’t even know she’s alive.

*

He’s been deep undercover for over two months. It’s exhausting work. He’s only twenty, but he feels at least ten years older. Still young, he allows himself to wonder if he’ll actually make it another ten years. Doesn’t seem likely. People in his line of work don’t live for very long.

It doesn’t scare him as much as it used to anymore. He realized a long time ago that he wasn’t long for this world. Some stars burn faster than others. Not everyone is made to make it to the finish line. After all, the ladder to the end is built upon the bodies of those who had fallen. Somehow, he knows that he will be one of them. As long as he makes good use of his own end, he is fine with it. 

He can live with it.

So he doesn’t think much about the future, especially his own. He thinks about the Rebellion and allows himself to hope for its success. He can’t think about its defeat or everything he has done and will do will be for nothing. And he’s done a lot of terrible things already that he needs a reason for. The end justifies the means, he repeats over and over again before he falls asleep. His end is just a stepping stone for something much larger. He doesn’t think of it much.

And then, right when he’s about to take another shot with a few other cadets in the Imperial Academy, a lightening burn lances down his left forearm. It’s so shocking and sudden that he lets go of the shot glass and it falls to counter, spilling everywhere. The drunk cadets laugh and the bartender scowls at him. It’s all he can do to not grab his arm, but he knows that if he does, someone might figure it out.

His heart is pounding in his chest as he apologizes to the bartender and then stumbles away from the cadets to the back of the bar where the restrooms are located. He has to shove his way through the unruly crowd, the smoke getting in his eyes and the music drumming in his head, but his entire body is distracted by the burn on his arm.

Once he finally makes it to the bathroom, he practically tumbles inside and slams the door shut, locking it behind him. He shouldn’t do this. It’s dangerous to let something so personal out in the open for people to see. His cover does not have a soulmate mark. It’s not him. He’s supposed to be blindly hoping for the day it comes.

But Cassian Andor apparently does have a soulmate mark and it chose a very inopportune time to show. It is him. But he was never hoping for one. Honestly, he had never expected to get one. He always figured that he would die or there would never be the time. There’s little room in his life for anything save the Rebellion, much less his heart. It doesn’t seem practical that someone might love him. It doesn’t feel believable that he might fall in love.

After making sure the door is locked, Cassian takes a deep breath and rolls up his sleeve.  _I do – someone’s out there._ In his paranoia, his eyes jerk around the bathroom again, but he’s alone and, if anyone was listening out there, they would only hear him breathing. He licks his lips.

Letting go of the sleep, he rubs his face, exhaustion seeping in his bones past the alcohol. He’s tired. He wants to… Oh, he doesn’t know. Go home? Back to Yavin 4? He doesn’t have a home, not really.

(Vague memories of his mother drift into his mind: her showing him her soulmate mark, her voice telling him, “You will know who they are even without the words because they will feel like home.”

He shakes his head and turns on the sink so that he can splash water on his face. The other cadets will tease him for spilling his drink and having to get control over himself. Such a lightweight, they’ll laugh, and he’ll grin sheepishly and try to make up for it. He’s always trying to make up for silly mistakes. There’s a chance he won’t make it through the Academy, but he can always keep trying.

They don’t need to know that he’s more than capable of hitting a target 900 meters away or flying most ships with precision or even rewiring robots. They don’t need to know  _anything_  about him, certainly not his soulmate mark.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself later that night. All it means is that they are going to die, just like him. It’s not a comforting thought and he doesn’t sleep well that night.


End file.
